I haven't posted anything since February. That's a good thing. It means it has been pretty uneventful around here. But.........
To be honest, I am SO over this disease. We are only almost 3 years into it and I am so sick of it. Maybe I have had my hopes set too high, but I wanted a cure by now. I know they are getting closer and closer every day but I wanted it done yesterday. I hate knowing the potential this disease can do to Cade.
The stress is taking it's toll on all of us (ask Steph or Heather the state of the color of my hair). The older kids always have some activity going on and we can't always make it to everything they do all the time. They understand why we aren't there but I know they wish we were. Since I left a job that I really actually liked and liked the people I saw every day to became a SAHM, David has been left to be the total provider for the family - stressful. He doesn't complain about it but I know it wears on him. As for me, I have become a total introvert. It took me a while to realize what was wrong with me. I don't mean to come across as snotty or stand-offish or unfriendly - becoming an introvert (and not intending to) was my way of dealing with all of it. It was easier for me to avoid people and not have to deal with what was going on with Cade. Thank you to all of you that have stuck by me and are understanding through all of this. Even as stressful as everything is we wouldn't change it to be able have Cade as healthy as he has been.
We try to let Cade have as normal of a life as he can. He plays in the dirt, he rides in the tractor, he plays ball, he drinks out of the dog bowl, poops in the yard (he'll kill me for this one some day), eats food off the floor - he's a boy. Even with all of his normal boy things, he's still a little boy that takes lots of meds and spends lots of time doing treatments, time that could be spent doing whatever ornery thing he could think of.
Hugs, Amers... you gotta give yourself some grace. You are doing THE hardest job ever with a load that most of us cannot even IMAGINE, let alone comprehend. He's a happy kid, as are the rest of your kiddos. You're doing plenty right, friend. Plenty. And your friends have your back! <3
ReplyDeleteWhat an honest and candid blog and posting. I really admire the tireless dedication you have for your family. If I've heard anything from other parents, it's that they chronically feel guilty and that they are are not enough. You only have so much energy and time in one day and I know you do you best to manage your family with what is physically possible. You are enough. They know you love them and are doing your best. More parents would be better off if they could be more honest about what it's like to be a parent. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! This is the new "normal" for us - whatever normal is. Some days are easier than others.......
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